Archive for December, 2013

Hello and welcome to my blog! As this is my first ever post I thought I’d write it on something close to my heart, i.e. my lungs!

Only kidding, I am writing it on ferrets (or about ferrets). It would be difficult to write it actually on a ferret due to all their fur so I’m writing it using my computer keyboard.

Anyway, there are a lot of misconceptions about ferrets which lead some people to think they are smelly and nippy (as in prone to nip, not super fast, although they can be that too!)

To try and dispel some of these nasty, anti-ferret myths here are some genuine facts about these excellent pets (or hugawoozels as they are sometimes called):

  1. The name Ferret means thievin’ b***tard in Latin. This is a perfect name as they steal anything they can get their thievin’ little paws on. They are also known  as fuzzies, stretched kittens (aww 🙂 ), carpet sharks, and little f**kers.
  2. Ferrets can be a bit smelly (due to glands) so they need to be washed every now and then, however, it is best not to try and bath your ferret unless you want to end up in the emergency department of your local hospital. Having said that, I’ve heard some ferrets actually like baths and swim around happily in the water. My ferret, Ozzy, isn’t one of them.
  3. Ferrets are extremely famous in popular culture. They frequently have starring roles in sitcoms (Only fools and ferrets ), movies (The dark ferret rises), and Broadway musicals (can’t think of one – musicals are crap)
  4. A ferret sleeps for about 20 hours a day. Because they sleep so long, owners often think they’re comatose or dead. (Word of warning: this can happen to you too. Ollie’s mum once thought he was comatose when he stayed asleep for 22 hours straight. Interestingly she didn’t bother calling an ambulance…)
  5. In Ireland it is traditional to dress up your ferrets in little green waistcoats and booties. Strangely, many Irish ferret owners have fingers missing.
  6. Ferrets have absolutely excellent taste in music, i.e. they love metal.
  7. Of all mammals, including most humans, ferrets show the most talent for quantum physics – I can confirm that this is God’s truth as I read it on the internet.

A ferret in typical playful pose, note the beady eyes and razor sharp claws

I hope this shows you that ferrets are multi talented and interesting pets. Of course my ferret, Ozzy, is also extremely cute, loads of fun and mad as a bag of, er, ferrets. It’s true that he does pee in my trainers, chew my guitar books, sleep on my face and cover my clothes in millions of hairs, but no one’s perfect, not even me.

Join me next week for another exciting ferretin’ out the truth blog post, probably on male make up. As a way to get you in the mood, I will leave you with this conundrum: Guyliner, Manscara and Male Polish? Yay or nay?

Till next time, keep it metal.